Simpsons Quotes

[smokey_dj]

just another time waster thread for all the simpson nuts that have come to light on the forum recently

ill kick it off with...

homer "its just a lil dirty its still good its still good.....its just a lil slimey its still good its still good.....its just a lil airborn its still good its still good" bart "its gone" homer "i know"

[VE II]

Nice thread!
Here's one of my favourites

- Homer: are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? what about bacon?
- Lisa: No.
- Homer: Ham?
- Lisa: No.
- Homer: Pork chops?
- Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
- Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal. :D :D

[smokey_dj]

haha same episode nice!

[wayno]

"The coroner. I'm so sick of that guy." :D

[pitcrew]

Homers meaning for the word "Efficiency" work smarter; not harder:

[skaifeyfan2]

I bent my Wookiee - Ralph Wiggum

Go Banana! - " "

Tastes like burning..... - " "

[toecutter]

Ok brain, I dont like you and you dont like me...........

[spiderken17]

God! Don't get me started

Homer holding a sixpack of beer -
"Expand my brain, learning juice!"

Moe - "I've been called ugly, pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly, but never ugly ugly"

Lisa - "there's a racoon in the dog house"
Homer - "pffffft racoon, Its probably Milhouse"

I'm full of these things (among other stuff).

[Skaife fan]

Great thread
Homer to Lisa; "You don't win friends with salad"

[Skaife fan]

I live by this one.:D

Homer : " If you don't like your job, dont quit. Just go in everyday and do it really half assed. That's the American way."

[minh427]

Lol if i didnt post a pic of the lard lad, this thread wouldn't exist? :p

[wayno]

"Yo, goober, where's the meat?"

"I'm a big four eyed lamo and I wear the same stupid sweater eeeevery day".

[Skaife fan]

" Homer no function beer well without "

[Road Runner 72]

Doh!

[Kashmir]

Doh!

hmm I've never heard that one before:rolleyes:.............:laugh4:

[brchi17]

how are we going to get out of here?
Wiggum: "Dig up stupid !!!"

[brchi17]

hello operator, give me the number for 911 :D lmao !!!

[Ajm069]

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get

[minh427]

"Please dont eat me, i have a wife and kids.........eat them"

[Holdennumber1]

"Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs."

[Dutchie]

Congressman: Why, this news make my blood boil, my left arm feel numb, my mouth taste of copper! Arrgggh!
[congressman collapses]
Marge: He's had a heart-attack! Quick someone do CPR!
Homer Simpson: [singing] I see a bad moon rising.
Marge: No that's CCR!
Homer Simpson: Errr...
[singing]
Homer Simpson: Looks like we're in for nasty weather.

Otto: Spell AC/DC!
Lisa: A-C-D-C
Otto: Nuh-uh! You forgot the lightning bolt.

Homer Simpson: Who are you?
Andre Agassi: I'm Andre Agassi.
Homer Simpson: The wrestler?

Kirk Van Houten: If you see a tie on the door knob, that means I'm with a lady.
Homer: But you don't have a door knob.
Kirk Van Houten: I don't have a tie either!

[fatty]

Saxamophone
Saxamophone

[BB]

mmmmm, donuts. Is there anything they can't do aaarrrrgggghhhh

[SteveK51]

Goodbye dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Goodbye dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
Goodbye dental Plan
Lisa Needs Braces
...
If we lose our dental plan... I'll have to pay for Lisa's braces!

[Damage]

After Lisa's room explodes:

Lisa: DAD!!
Homer: Honey, just pretend it's your birthday
Lisa: But it IS my birthday!!
Homer: That's the spirit honey...

[stephenhrt]

Marge: "homer that's not our lord, that's just a waffle bart threw up there"

Homer "Mmm, sacalicious"

[Tumbo]

Mr Burns: "Smithers I think i'll donate a million dollars to the orphanage................when pigs fly!!!!"
Pig flies past window
Smithers: "So sir will you be donating that money now?"
Mr Burns: "I'd still rather not"


Homer: "No TV and no beer make Homer go something something"
Marge: "Go crazy?"
Homer: "Don't mind if I do!"

[rex555]

I'd contribute to this thread but

"I'm a lazy, lazy man." :D

[Murphy_51]

Homer "Donuts is there anything they cant do"

[Murphy_51]

Ralph Wiggam "The doctor said i wouldnt get so many nosebleeds if i kept my finger out of there"

[Skaife fan]

Homer ;
Marge, what's wrong ? Are you hungry ? Sleepy ?
Gassy ? Gassy ? Is it gas ? It's gas isn't it ?

[Tumbo]

"I ate the purple berries, it taste like burning"
"YAY that's where i'm a viking"
"YAY that's where i'm a pirate"

[Chev_350]

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

[SteveK51]

Homer:
Dear lord, please protect the rocket house and all who dwell within the rocket house.

[rayman]

I think some of these quotes are getting copied and pasted from here http://www.thesimpsonsquotes.com/

[rex555]

Homer. "Do this one thing for me brain and I'll go back to killing you with beer"
"It a deal!"

[stone15]

Homer to lisa

"wait honey daddy's on his high horse."

[Kashmir]

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

[sad]

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!

[Chev_350]

I think some of these quotes are getting copied and pasted from here http://www.thesimpsonsquotes.com/

I know I did that to make sure i got the quote correct.

[Tumbo]

mine were done from memory :D

[TOY032]

Builders spirit level slides off

Homer:"did you see the bubble?" :o

[Chev_350]

If I could just say a few words........I would be a better public speaker.

[brchi17]

forbidden donut....drool !!!!!

[minh427]

Strap yourself in and feel the Gs

[brchi17]

Strap yourself in and feel the Gs

ah...good ole Max Power :D lol !!!

[smokey_dj]

max power hes the man with the name you want to touch
but you mus'nt touuuch

[minh427]

4w3zdkmw2E4

[SteveK51]

(Treehouse of Horror)

Oh, I think Uter is around here somewhere.
I mean, isn't there a little Uter in all of us?
You could say, we killed Uter, cooked him, and are eating him right now!

Wait, scratch that last one.

[BB]

she jumped, right.....

[halbster]

Computer says : Hit any key

Homer:
"Where's the ANY key?"
"I don't have an ANY key"
Arrrrrrrgh
"oohhh TAB.... I'll have a TAB"

[smokey_dj]

someone watched the simpsons onfox over the w/e :p
theres alot more to that quote too bu still a goodie

[smokey_dj]

homer ' i know you can read my thoughts boy meow'meow'meow'moew--meow'meow'meow'meow--meow'meow'meow--meow'meow--meow'meow'meow

[stephenhrt]

Homer (with bart and milhouse covered in green goo) "Mmm free goo"

Or my personal favourite, don't remember when it was from "Mmm something"

[halbster]

someone watched the simpsons onfox over the w/e :p
theres alot more to that quote too bu still a goodie

Nope, I don't actually go out of my way to watch the Simpsons, just tooooo many years of channel 10 re-runs.

Sad thing is I actually know a lot of these quotes, and have laughed through this thread.....and contributed.

[smokey_dj]

ahh ok
theres no problem with that just funny the ep you mentioned was on saturday morning

i wouldnt say sad ting really could say that just about every person on this forum grew up with the simpsons on tv so we are all going to remember something from it or another and yeah it does get alot or re run overkill

ill tell you what is sad/spooky though when you randomly think of something in one of the ps and then within that week that ep is playing thats happend to me soooo many times

[texan]

I've always loved when Bart calls the Springfield Police Rescue phone.

"If you know the name of the felony being committed, press 1. To choose from a list of felonies, press 2. If you are being murdered, or are calling from a rotary phone, please stay on the line.(Bart presses four numbers on the phone) You have chosen- "regicide!" If you know the name of the King or Queen being murdered, press 1."

This cracks me up everytime.

[wayno]

In reference to the sensory depravation tub when Homer's trying to spend more time with Lisa

"Can you pee in it?"

[smokey_dj]

im so suprised no one has said this one yet

dr nick: the leg bones connected to the something the somethings connected to the red thing the red things connected to my wrist watch...uh oh

[Nate07]

Homer: "That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I've seen sucks before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."

Marge: "Homer!"

Homer: "Gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening."

[Nate07]

Homer: "Oh Lisa, Vampires aren't real! Just like Elfs Gremlins and Ekimos."

LOL

[Tumbo]

Another great Dr Nick one: "well if it isn't my old friend Mr McGreg with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg"

[minh427]

" I am so smart, I am so smart, I am so smart, I am so smart S-M-R-T.. i mean S-M-A-R-T"

[TOY032]

Dr Nick, "the coroner im so sick of that guy"

[09WNS]

i would love to join you guys but i am a big Simpsons nut
i do not want to fill the pages lol

and having a last name of Simpson too i am bad i collect too much Simpsons stuff

here is one "Hi everybody" - Dr Nick (not sure if is been done but)

[09WNS]

ok i have started
i looked at most of the post here there is no Apu

"Thank you come again" - Apu

[09WNS]

"don't look were i am pointing" - Agnes
from the Simpsons Movie

[09WNS]

"Domer" - Maggie

[minh427]

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

I had a strokeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

[09WNS]

"i got beaten in tic toe by a chicken" - Cletus

yeah i know i said i would love to join now i have started lol
my brain is working still lol

i am not going to post many more tonight

[brchi17]

"don't cry for me, cause I'm already dead"

f i n

[SteveK51]

Homer: Barney's video had heart, but "Football in the Groin" had a football in the groin.

Wow, I'll never drink another beer again.

Vendor: Beer here!
Homer: One please.

[smokey_dj]

homer "i could kill for a hotdog right about now'
marge "homer this is a cemetary"
vendor "hot dogs get your hotdogs here"
marge "what do you do follow my husband around"
vendor "lady hes putting my kids through collage"

[stephenhrt]

Mayor Quimby "i'll er have two dogs, two sodas and er two ice cream bars"

Vendor passes them past homer, who takes a bite

Quimby "What goin' on, these look like teeth marks"

[jdnno1]

Great post, very funny.

I got these off the simsoms quote site but these are 2 of my favourites.

Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!


Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)



Nick

[stephenhrt]

Homer: "I don't sign anything unless i read it or someone tells me what it's about"

Mr Burns: "It says you have won the first annual Montgomery Burns award for the outstanding achievement in the field of umm Excellence"

Homer: "Do i get a trophy and a ceremony?"

[vikings100]

When they are being put into the witness protection and going to terror lake

FBI - When I ask you hello Mr Thompson and push down on your foot, you say yes.
Homer - OK
FBI - Hello Mr Thompson
Homer- (looks at other agent and says) I think he's talking to you.:D

[spolyhronidis]

Homer: Marge, it takes 2 people to lie. one person to lie and the other person to listen.

[SteveK51]

Bart: Take 'em away, Boys.
Wiggum: Hey, that's my line! Bake 'em away, Toys.
Officer: Chief?
Wiggum: Just do what the boy said.

[Tumbo]

"Professor Frink Professor Frink he'll make you laugh he'll make you think"

[rex555]

"Friends, family, religion. These are the 3 demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business" - M. Burns

[rex555]

Lady "You're fat!"
Bang Bang Bart "Just more of me to love, baby"

Bart after testing a new cola "Mmmm, sweet"
Lab tech "Pleasant taste, some monsterism"

Singing
"Some folks would never eat a skunk,
but some folks ain't Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel"

[stephenhrt]

Homer: Oh, that kid has bobbies, quick someone get me a towel

The fat german kid: Don't touch me i'm full of chocolate. (as homer starts whipping him)

[Aaron]

Lisa Singing: “How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?”

Homer: “7!”

Lisa: “No Dad. It’s a rhetorical question.”

Homer: “Rhetorical ay?……8!”

[stephenhrt]

Homer: Oh margey you came and you found me a turkey. On my vacation away from workey.

I could do this all day. Love the simpsons for quotes and do use them at work

[smokey_dj]

homer" :eek: that dog has a puffy tale tehehe here puff here puff"

[smokey_dj]

not really for the quote but how its said by homer

homer "well time for work"
bart lisa "well time for school"
(all get up)
bart "um mom your kind of blocking the way"
homer "push her down son"

[brchi17]

it's a little bit airborn, but it's still good !!!

[smokey_dj]

(lisa arrives safely back to the ground with stephen hawking)

homer "did you have fun with your robot friend"

[stephenhrt]

Homer: Marge, do you respect my intellegence?

Marge: (after the longest pause ever) yes

Homer: Ok, good night

[wayno]

Homer - "Hello. My name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me."
Postal Worker - "Ok Mr Burns, what's your first name."
Homer - "I don't know."

[Tumbo]

"use the forks homer, the forks!"

[minh427]

Homer: "hello mr plow that name again is mr plow"

Man: "Hello mr plow im calling from Komatsu motors"

Homer: "Oh you want Mr Plow who plows driveways, this is Tony Plow from leave it to beaver..................yeah they were gay"

[whitlam]

Billy Corgan: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.
Homer: Homer Simpson, smiling politely.

[Nate07]

Homer: "hello mr plow that name again is mr plow"

Man: "Hello mr plow im calling from Komatsu motors"

Homer: "Oh you want Mr Plow who plows driveways, this is Tony Plow from leave it to beaver..................yeah they were gay"

ROFL!

[minh427]

Homer: hey can go across the street and get me a slice of pizza?

Man: No pizza only Kalkalash!

Homer: oh shoo, ok, give me one bowl

Man: No bowl stick, stick!!

*homer takes first bite*

Homer: oh thats just awful!!

*eats the whole things*

Homer: What do you have to wash the awful taste out my mouth?

Man: Mountain dew or crab juice.

Homer: oh eww yuck, I'll take a crab juice!

[smokey_dj]

bart when hes dreaming hes a big fat guy

bart "i wash myself with a rag on a stick"

[David Paterson]

Miss Hoover, I got an an owwie!

[smokey_dj]

haha also to add to that 1

when everyone gets earings

ralph "my ear hurst and my shoulder hurts i have 2 owwies"

[VC SL/E]

Homer jumping out of the shower to answer the phone.
"Hello, you'll have to speak up I'm wearing a towel"

[David Paterson]

My cat's breth smells like cat food.

[wayno]

"Somebody want's mommy to change babies dia-perrrrr.'
"Is that somebody YOU Homer."
"Yes it iiiii-iiiiiissssss"
:D

[wayno]

In reference to the sensory depravation tub when Homer's trying to spend more time with Lisa

"Can you pee in it?"

On now!!!!!!

[brchi17]

On now!!!!!!

was going to post this, but you beat me too it, a classic episode LOL !!!

[wayno]

One of my favourites I must admit. ;)

[brchi17]

"hey hippy lady, I'm ready to get out now" LMAO !!!!!

[wayno]

"Go get daddies burying shovel."
"Yaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"

[brchi17]

"WOW look at that car burn, does it get any better than this?"

[minh427]

d8hDUaik7A4

Is there a model of this car?

[brchi17]

ah, the country fried truck endorsed by a clown :D

I love how unexplained fires are a matter for the courts LMAO :D !!!

[minh427]

Homer tries to build the bbq pit.

"English side ruined must use French Instructions. Le Grill, what the hell is that!!!?"

[rex555]

Future Fat Lisa to husband Ralph

"Honey, can you take me to the library, I want to rent us some movies. Wesley, go get mommas pryin' bar"

Future Fat Bart

"I wash myself with a rag on a stick"

So many happy memories

[texan]

bart when hes dreaming hes a big fat guy

bart "i wash myself with a rag on a stick"


The funniest thing about this is that everyone claps after he says it.

[lavenlaar]

LISA I'm a mapple person

[spolyhronidis]

d8hDUaik7A4

Is there a model of this car?
Not that i'm aware of.

"it's a deer smacking, squirrel squashing, drivin machine"

[stephenhrt]

Of course the canyonero isn't a real car. Didn't you here the ad

"The american highway authority has declared the canyonero is unsafe for highway or city driving":p

[El Cheapo]

When Principal Skinner is in a dodgeball sack and nibbles the hampster comes up to him (the episode when they're trapped in school by a snowstorm).

"Nibbles, chew through my ballsack"

:laugh4::laugh4:

[Bully]

Homer: that's for the courts to decide:D

[smokey_dj]

skinner "it was the butterfly i tell you THE BUTTERFLY"

bart "because nobody ever suspects the butterfly"

[smokey_dj]

comic book guy "there is no emotocon for how im feeling"

[minh427]

Bart: What do you mean the bank is out money?

Bart: you only have enough money for the next three customers??

*everyone at bank panics*

Bank guy: Hold on!! Just a second here!! I don't have your money....it's in Bill's house and..and Fred's house.

*Moe turns around*

Moe: What you doing with my money in your house Fred??

*Everyone starts fighting.

:p:D

[Tumbo]

"but that would require somekind of RE-bigulator which is an idea so patently absurd I can't even begin to comprehend it"

"professor Frink professor Frink, he'll make you laugh, he'll make you think, then he'll do thing, with the thing and the... person... Boy, that monkey is going to pay"

[fatty]

I'm Mr Plow
I'm Mr Plow
That's my name
I'm Mr Plow.

[viking]

Cletus, don't know the episode:
" Oh man!! No more sitting in the dirt at the drive-in!!"

[minh427]

Homer: "the internet, is that thing still around?"

[Tumbo]

Cletus:
picking up roadkill "girly sue's gonna have a mighty wedding feast"
"mind the skunk, them things can stills go off after theys is dead"

[stephenhrt]

Bart "I didn't think it was possible, but this both sucks and blows"

[Nate07]

When the Simpsons move to Cypress Creek.

Before Marge was happy with the idea she says, "We can't leave Springfeild!, Bart's lawyer is here!"

"Only guys like me with huge salaries can afford this... A guy like me! I'm a guy like me!"

"Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!"

[minh427]

Grandpa: Hey the lamp's running away

Bart: That's my dog man

Grandpa: So long lamp.

[ratster70]

Lisa - Dad all the bees are dying
Homer - No bees OHHHHHH now who's going to sting me and walk all over my sandwiches

[domstrama]

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

[domstrama]

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

[rex555]

Homer "I love Saturdays"
Marge "Homer, its Wednesday"
Homer "D'oh"

Homer "At last its Saturday, not like that stupid fake Saturday that nearly got me fired!"

[wazza002]

Here's one for the book's for you all
http://www.bigpondmovies.com/libraries/article_lib rary/aap_newsml/74281223-fb31-487f-89f8-7660aea0d93a/

[stephenhrt]

Homer: Woo Hoo, (After becoming the mayors new bodyguard)
Marge: Homer, you don't know ...
Homer: I said "Woo Hoo"

[minh427]

Russian car salesman: "She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene"

Homer: "What country is this car from?"

salesman: "It no longer exist but take her for a test drive and you'll agree"

salesman pushes the car

salesman: "Put it in H!!!"

[Nate07]

Abe Simpson - "The metric system is the tool of the devil. My car gets fourty rods to the hogs head and that's the way I likes it"

[stephenhrt]

Abe: My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say dickety because the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty

[David S.]

Ralph: "The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there."

[David Paterson]

Military Academy instructor: "Bart, I see your from a state school, so i assume you're already proficient with small arms."

[HRT-222]

When homer gets the ambulance....

Homer: so where you off to buddy

Comic Book Guy: take me to the hospital

Homer: gee alot of people are going there today

[smokey_dj]

marge "homer theres a scientist here that thinks he can help you"

homer "oooh is it batman"

marge "its not batman"

"homer "batmans a scientist"

[pitcrew]

Homer " Donuts, is there anything they can't do ".

[Damage]

Otto: "My name is Otto, I lurve to get blotto..."

[toecutter]

:D:D:D Im getting one of these!!!

http://www.watoday.com.au/digital-life/cartech/warning-avoid-this-voice-skin-if-youre-homerphobic-20090617-chih.html

[brchi17]

how cool, I just can't imagine Homer every saying "genius" lol !!!

[pitcrew]

:D:D:D Im getting one of these!!!

http://www.watoday.com.au/digital-life/cartech/warning-avoid-this-voice-skin-if-youre-homerphobic-20090617-chih.html
I'm gunna have to get one of those :D

[VP_VIXEN]

marge "homer theres a scientist here that thinks he can help you"

homer "oooh is it batman"

marge "its not batman"

"homer "batmans a scientist"

Now you know why I won't watch the Simpsons with you....lol

[Nate07]

Homer: Why Do Things That Only Happen to stupid People Keep Happening to Me?

[Designer]

"I'll take the moo-moo !!"

[spolyhronidis]

"I'll take the moo-moo !!"
that quote is a lot funnier when you add the preceding lines:

salemans: well sir, many of our clients find pants confining. so we offer a range of alternatives for the ample gentleman: ponchos, muu-muus, capes, jumpsuits, uni-sheets, muslin body rolls, academic and judicial robes.
homer: i don't want to look like a weirdo. i'll just go with a muu-muu.

[spolyhronidis]

trent steel: so where to eat. you like Thai?
homer: tie good, you like shirt?

[minh427]

Homer: "glow sticks, get your angel glow sticks, no one gets into heaven without a glow stick"

Flanders: "I'll take four!!"

[Kashmir]

Homer: "glow sticks, get your angel glow sticks, no one gets into heaven without a glow stick"

Flanders: "I'll take four!!"

Isn't that on right now Lol;)

[minh427]

Isn't that on right now Lol;)

haha cool, I'm not the only one watching it right now.

[domstrama]

Homer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/): Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000279/): Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/): Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

[domstrama]

Homer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/): I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

[domstrama]

Homer Simpson (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/): Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the colour of his skin... but what good does *that* do me?

[spolyhronidis]

got the season 12 DVD's for father's day. some great episodes that year.

[GLENN L]

homer the phone rings)just a miniute dont hang up (he anwsers) hello, youll have to speak up im wearing a towel.


mr burns:i sugest you leave.
homer:or what youll release the dogs or the bees or the dogs with bees in there mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you well go ahead do your worst.

[spolyhronidis]

Homer: let me set the record straight. i thought the cop was a prostitute.

[minh427]

Lisa: "I think you need to be more aggressive."

Principal Skinner: "Nonsense, one of our good citizens will slow down and wave me in."

Later that night

Principal Skinner: "LET ME IN!! LET ME IN!!!"

Ralph: "He steps on the clutch and the toilet goes flush, hail to the..."

Principal Skinner: "SHUT UP!!!!"

[minh427]

Snake: "Hey, that smells like regular, shes needs premium dude!!! PREMIUMMMMMM...DUDEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

[VTEC86]

lol

[wackojacko86]

My cat smells like cat food

[wackojacko86]

I cho cho choose you - noting gets chocolate out ... see

[smokey_dj]

My cat smells like cat food

slight correction

my cats breath smells like cat food

[rayman]

Way to go, no breath

[rayman]

Should read: Way to breathe, no breath

[spolyhronidis]

Should read: Way to breathe, no breath
ah yes, from Bart Sells His Soul.

Milhouse: why would they lie about having a soul Bart?

cut to Rev Lovejoy counting the money from the collection trays.

[freddo_2]

Ralph Wiggum: me fail english, thats unpossible! lol

[minh427]

"Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you, I'll have a Duff, you have one too."

[smokey_dj]

haha good one bud

homer sick and shivvering

"where going to duff gardens ha rahhh (falls on car horn) beeeeep"

"this is all your fault awwhh how can stay mad at you" (talking to the giant sandwhich) same episode

[minh427]

Devil Flanders to Homer "Your wide behind won't save you this time!!"

Bart walks in..

Devil Flanders "Hey Bart"

Bart "Hey"

[minh427]

Grandpa "blahyahahah"

Homer " If you don't start making more sense, we gonna have to put you in a home"

Grandpa "You already put me in a home!"

Homer " Then we'll put you in a crooked home we saw on 60 minutes!!"

Grandpa " I'll be good"

[minh427]

Mr Burns trying to call Smithers but instead dials Moe's Tavern.

Mr Burns "I'm looking for Mr Smithers, first name Waylon"

Moe "Ohhhhh, so your looking for a Mr Smithers ay, first name Waylon is it?? When I catch you I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove them down your pants, so you watch me kick the crap out of you and I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!"

[minh427]

Homer "I need something for my son's birthday"

Evil shop guy " Perhaps this would please the gentleman, take this object but beware it carries a terrible curse!"

Homer " That's bad"

Evil Shop guy " But it comes with a free frogurt!"

Homer "That's good!"

Evil shop guy "The frogurt is also cursed"

Homer "That's bad"

Evil shop guy "But you get your choice of topping!"

Homer "That's good"

Evil shop guy "The topping contains Potassium Benzoate"

Homer ".............................."

Evil shop guy "That's bad"

Homer "Can I go now?"

[spolyhronidis]

Homer: from now on there are 3 ways to do things. the right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way.
Bart: isn't that the wrong way.
Homer: yes, but, faster

[minh427]

Simpsons movie is on ch 10 now!

[pitcrew]

spider pig, spider pig, everyone loves spider pig.

Thanks for the heads up minh

[minh427]

The most funny thing i remember about the movie is the fake chainsaw bit. lol

[pitcrew]

No matter how many times I watch it there is always something that I missed before.

[minh427]

Homer "I know you can read my thoughts boy...........yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum"

[UNDFTD]

the whole of springfield: MONORAIL!!! MONARAIL!!!!!

Homer: MONO..... DOH!!!

[smokey_dj]

you sure thats right minh

i was pretty sure its...

"i know you can read my thoughts boy" meow meow meow meow ... meow meow meow meow .. meow meow meow..meow meow meow meowm meow

[minh427]

Your right Smokey, wow my first Simpsons mistake.

[smokey_dj]

:O how could you (insert dramaticly overdone music) :p

[minh427]

Shocking isn't it? lol

[sodonnell]

The most funny thing i remember about the movie is the fake chainsaw bit. lol

I liked the sign towards the end that said "Sop" instead of stop.

What a classic:)

[minh427]

Comic book guy: Internet king...I wonder if he could provide faster nudity.

[minh427]

Homer sings: You put the beer in the coconut and drink it all up, you put the beer in the coconut and throw can away.

Flanders: Homer!!

Homer: you throw the can away!

Flanders: I said Homer!!

[minh427]

Homer: BART, DO YOU WANT SOME BROWNIE BEFORE YOU GO TO BED!!!!!!

Bart: AHHHHHHHHHH!!

[smokey_dj]

BART HAVE YOU SEEN MY NEW CHAINSAW AND HOCKEY MASK!!!! :p

[minh427]

Homer: da da da dada HEY! da dada, da da dada HEY! da dada.

[minh427]

Homer: Urge to kill..fading....fading...fading....RISING!!...fadi ng fading....gone.

[rayman]

Homer: Save me Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan!!!!!

[minh427]

Homer: mmmmmm 64 slices of American cheese.

[smokey_dj]

bahahahaa classic

2 ..... 1......

marge "homer have you been up all night eating cheese?"

homer "i think im blind"

mr burns and smithers drop from the ceiling

[minh427]

Gus: That's a bloody outrage it is!! I'm gonna take this all the way to the Prime Minister...........Hey, Mr Prime Minister!! ANDY!!!

[minh427]

FBI: "Hello Mr Thompson"

Homer: ................................

[spolyhronidis]

FBI: "Hello Mr Thompson"

Homer: ................................
i think he's talking to you.

[COA]

jazz Guy 1: hey, am i still married to your sister,
Jazz Guy 2: Nah , She died

[minh427]

Dental Plan!!

[smokey_dj]

lisa needs braces

[pitcrew]

New Homer on tonight at 8pm

[minh427]

New Homer on tonight at 8pm

What a funny episode!

[pitcrew]

What a funny episode!
It was brilliant, although they are starting to get a bit raunchy.
Go Homer, Go Homer.

Did you get a copy of playboy magazine with Marge on the front.
It's a limited collectors edition

[pitcrew]

Homer - "Look at those abs", "How come everyone has a six pack and I have a keg ?"

[minh427]

Homer - "Look at those abs", "How come everyone has a six pack and I have a keg ?"

hahaha. I forgot how it goes but its the one where the lady describes the ingredients of some chocolate bar on tv and homer just sits there and drools. :D

[smokey_dj]

are you thinking of a chocolate bar or "the good morning burger"

oh lisa thats just a load of rich creamery butter

[minh427]

are you thinking of a chocolate bar or "the good morning burger"

oh lisa thats just a load of rich creamery butter

haha both, they're both funny.

[smokey_dj]

marge "homer wake up i need some sign your awake"

(burp)

WAKE UP!!!

homer "uhh huhh wha whats the matter

(in weary daze) "dog on fire? house run away?"

[minh427]

Bart: "Aren't we forgetting about the true meaning of Christmas.......the birth of santa!"

[minh427]

Homer "Its alright honey, I just thought we could of used that 12000 dollars"

Lisa "Err dad 10 percent of 120 million isn't 12000, its...."

Hospital PA "Code blue, code blue, code blue"

[smokey_dj]

homer while driving along

stupid horoscope.... stupid horroscope.....stupid blorapope

[minh427]

Fat Tony "I Don't get mad, I get stabby"

[MeTriX]

Lisa: 'I'm studying for the math fair. If I win, I'll get a brand new protractor.'
Homer: 'Too bad we don't live on a farm.'

[GLENN L]

when homer buys snakes car little bandit from police auctions.
moe: what you got there 6 barrel holley carb.
homer: yep
moe: edelbrock intake
homer: nothin but
moe: mayahar lifters
homer: o yeah
moe: homer i made that last one up
homer: i see

[spolyhronidis]

Homer singing in the car to the tune of the Flinstones.

Simpson, Homer Simpson,
He's the greatest guy in history.
From the town of Springfield,
He's about to hit a curbside tree.
AAAAhhhhhh

[rayman]

Homer singing in the car to the tune of the Flinstones.

Simpson, Homer Simpson,
He's the greatest guy in history.
From the town of Springfield,
He's about to hit a curbside tree.
AAAAhhhhhh
Chestnut Tree

[spolyhronidis]

Chestnut Tree
i always get that one wrong for some reason.

[minh427]

Homer: Ah ah ah ah Table five table five, ah ah ah ah table fiiiiiiiiiiiive

[David Paterson]

Homer: Oh, why do my actions always have to have consequences?

[minh427]

James Taylor "Listen Buzz, I am not as laid back as people think. Now here's the deal, I'm going to play and your going to float there and like it!"

[minh427]

Groundskeeper Willie: "Lunch lady Doris, have ya got any grease?

LL Doris: "Yes, yes we do"

Groundskeeper Willie: "Then GREASE ME UP WOMAN!!!"

LL Doris: ".............okey dokey"

[brchi17]

I didn't do it!

[rex555]

James Taylor "Listen Buzz, I am not as laid back as people think. Now here's the deal, I'm going to play and your going to float there and like it!"

I only just realized last night watching this one that the space craft was called the Corvair as in the original safety book "Unsafe at any speed" by Ralph Nader.

"Permission to sedate cargo ahead of schedule?"

[minh427]

Marge " Homer, I don't want you to drive a car that you built"

Homer "Marge, you can sit there finding faults or you can knit me some seat belts."

[smokey_dj]

just had a thought while doing the food shopping today do you ever have A SIMPSONS MOMENT

just thought it spice up this thread abit but by all means still post those quotes

my simpson moment today was while doing the food shopping selecting a pasta sauce and thought of nelsons line in show n tell

"once again if im not mistaken this can once contained tomato paste"

[minh427]

Or " Once you go fresh you'll never go back to can" lol

[spolyhronidis]

Homer while choking Bart: Why you little.. I'll teach you to laugh at something funny.

[minh427]

Freddy Quimby: Showdaaare Showdaaare....Its chowder say it right!!

[minh427]

Bart: "Ah, So v8 juice doesn't contain 1/8 Gasoline!"

[Damage]

Not a quote, but I love the name of the Spingfield revolving restaurant: The "Sit 'n Rotate" :D

[HRT-222]

Homer: It takes alot to impress mee......oooohh a blue car!!!

[HRT-222]

Homer: Now what have you got to wash that awfull taste down
Seller: Crab Juice or Mountain Dew
Homer: Arhh, oooh, geez, i'll take a crab juice :)

[minh427]

What is up with the new Simpsons. So crap! Nothing like the old days.

[Kashmir]

What is up with the new Simpsons. So crap! Nothing like the old days.

Running out of good idea's?

[spolyhronidis]

Running out of good idea's?
i really think they ran out of good ideas about 5 seasons ago. still watch it though and will still buy the box sets as they come out. btw, season 13 should be out soon.

[brchi17]

i really think they ran out of good ideas about 5 seasons ago. still watch it though and will still buy the box sets as they come out. btw, season 13 should be out soon.

I totally agree, there's only so much you can cover before it starts to look rather stale. The problem is, it's been stale for so long that the mould is nearly old enough to vote!

[stone15]

What is up with the new Simpsons. So crap! Nothing like the old days.

got to say some of the new show are very well done.
like the one where the nun take in maggie

[fastboysmith]

got to say some of the new show are very well done.
like the one where the nun take in maggie
only thing is some of the "new" ones ten is showing are the 20th season which i have on dvd

[Nick Short]

What's in it?
2,4,desoxypropanuramine.
Sweeeet.
Pleasant aftertaste, some monsterism.

[MeTriX]

Scientist: "First we'll test this experiment perfume on you..."
Homer: "Ah! It burns!"
Scientist: "Hmm... we'll call it desert breeze."

[MeTriX]

I thought the Rolling Stones were supose to have their Steel Wheelchair Tour 2010 this year?!

http://users.tpg.com.au/bsnyman//2010_RS%20Tour.jp g

[pitcrew]

I thought the Rolling Stones were supose to have their Steel Wheelchair Tour 2010 this year?!

http://users.tpg.com.au/bsnyman//2010_RS%20Tour.jp g

Well spotted.

[The General]

Homer: Hmmm. I see they have the internet on computer now.

[nrma dave]

ralph wigan... i see lepricorns and they make me burn things.

[pitcrew]

Homer; "You tried your best and failed miserably, the lesson is never to try".

Homer; "Donuts, is there anything they can't do"

[nrma dave]

grouds keeper willie.. ya skirt wearing buttercup!