xtreem2001
27-11-2005, 07:52 PM
Just got off the phone to the Cockroach. He insists these updates to the rules for 06 will keep ALL the fans happy. He has also indicated that if any forum members would like to add their comments ideas, these will be totally ignored. After all it is damm hard to crush a "roach".
INDIVIDUAL TEAM CHANGES.
1) HRT - Lead car in the HRT garage is to be fitted with GPS/ Navigation system. This will assist driver finding correct pit box.
2) Tripple 8 - Entire pit crew is to be substituted with trained monkeys. This should eliminate problems with "nuts" of any kind as monkeys love nuts.
3) Super Cheap Auto - Team must find new sponsor for 06 or alternatively sack their publicity company. Stevie (the bloke in their current tv adds) has shown more skill in the pits than some high level teams and this is not good.
4) Team BOC - This team will have new sponsors in 06. If anybody has contacts with an inner spring mattress company AVESCO will give special consideration to them allowing Jones fitting the product to the roof area. This should ensure softer landings.
5) SBR - Also looking for new sponsorship. As a result of Bathurst
consideration will be given to helmet manufacturers who have balaclavas sown inside the actual helmet.
6) DJR - AVESCO has been hit by rising taxi fares and as a result has struck a deal for every round (including overseas). Prior to the v8's arriving Dick will draw names from a hat and the lucky driver will win a seat in the 2nd DJR Falcon. This drive is for only that particular round but then again that is a longer contract than some previous drivers have had.
7) HSV/TOLL - Consideration has been given to the young champion in this team. No team radio will be fitted in the Kelly car for 06. Instead the car will be fitted with a DVD player. Copies of the 03/04 Bathurst will be played over and over so that this top young gun can continue to feel good about himself. After all daddy is paying our wages as well.
8) WPS - This team has been gifted a third licence for 06. In the event Mr Gore believes he is being hard done by he can at his discretion send out the pace car. Should the pace car finish ahead of the field, points will be awarded accordingly. Glen Seton has nominated for this drive next year,
INDIVIDUAL DRIVERS.
1) Craig Lowndes - This driver will be made to perform at least one drive through penalty per race. In the event he continues to smile AVESCO will be forced to banish him to Nascar in 07. He has been warned. No driver should be that damm happy when putting up with the s%^#t we throw at him.
2) Paul Morris / Paul Dumbrell / Simon Wills / Anthony Tratt - These 4 drivers will have their cars fitted with safety barriers similar to the dodgem cars. Should help minimise the carnage to both themselves and the rest of the field.
3) Garth Tander - AVESCO have agreed that this driver can have a soapbox fitted inside the car. This will save time as Tander has had to go looking for his after several races this year. He has also been donated a free DVD player and copies of both Clipsal and Bathurst rounds for 05. Seems he suffers from memory loss.
4) Glenn Seton - Has been handed the keys to the pace car for Bathurst 06. Plans are already in place for him to cross the line first. He will finally realise his dream.
5) Rick Kelly - This enthusiastic young driver will take on dual roles for 06. AVESCO is proud to announce he is also our publicity officer and will continue to tell the world just how damm good both he and of course me really are.
Sounds good to me. If you think 05 was full of political b%*&%t then you will surely love the new rules. Of course Mr Cockroach is still hopeful that Sete Gibernau will join the circus in 06. He has a great track record of blaming others and would be the perfect fit in this competition.
INDIVIDUAL TEAM CHANGES.
1) HRT - Lead car in the HRT garage is to be fitted with GPS/ Navigation system. This will assist driver finding correct pit box.
2) Tripple 8 - Entire pit crew is to be substituted with trained monkeys. This should eliminate problems with "nuts" of any kind as monkeys love nuts.
3) Super Cheap Auto - Team must find new sponsor for 06 or alternatively sack their publicity company. Stevie (the bloke in their current tv adds) has shown more skill in the pits than some high level teams and this is not good.
4) Team BOC - This team will have new sponsors in 06. If anybody has contacts with an inner spring mattress company AVESCO will give special consideration to them allowing Jones fitting the product to the roof area. This should ensure softer landings.
5) SBR - Also looking for new sponsorship. As a result of Bathurst
consideration will be given to helmet manufacturers who have balaclavas sown inside the actual helmet.
6) DJR - AVESCO has been hit by rising taxi fares and as a result has struck a deal for every round (including overseas). Prior to the v8's arriving Dick will draw names from a hat and the lucky driver will win a seat in the 2nd DJR Falcon. This drive is for only that particular round but then again that is a longer contract than some previous drivers have had.
7) HSV/TOLL - Consideration has been given to the young champion in this team. No team radio will be fitted in the Kelly car for 06. Instead the car will be fitted with a DVD player. Copies of the 03/04 Bathurst will be played over and over so that this top young gun can continue to feel good about himself. After all daddy is paying our wages as well.
8) WPS - This team has been gifted a third licence for 06. In the event Mr Gore believes he is being hard done by he can at his discretion send out the pace car. Should the pace car finish ahead of the field, points will be awarded accordingly. Glen Seton has nominated for this drive next year,
INDIVIDUAL DRIVERS.
1) Craig Lowndes - This driver will be made to perform at least one drive through penalty per race. In the event he continues to smile AVESCO will be forced to banish him to Nascar in 07. He has been warned. No driver should be that damm happy when putting up with the s%^#t we throw at him.
2) Paul Morris / Paul Dumbrell / Simon Wills / Anthony Tratt - These 4 drivers will have their cars fitted with safety barriers similar to the dodgem cars. Should help minimise the carnage to both themselves and the rest of the field.
3) Garth Tander - AVESCO have agreed that this driver can have a soapbox fitted inside the car. This will save time as Tander has had to go looking for his after several races this year. He has also been donated a free DVD player and copies of both Clipsal and Bathurst rounds for 05. Seems he suffers from memory loss.
4) Glenn Seton - Has been handed the keys to the pace car for Bathurst 06. Plans are already in place for him to cross the line first. He will finally realise his dream.
5) Rick Kelly - This enthusiastic young driver will take on dual roles for 06. AVESCO is proud to announce he is also our publicity officer and will continue to tell the world just how damm good both he and of course me really are.
Sounds good to me. If you think 05 was full of political b%*&%t then you will surely love the new rules. Of course Mr Cockroach is still hopeful that Sete Gibernau will join the circus in 06. He has a great track record of blaming others and would be the perfect fit in this competition.